I won’t call myself a music critic, but I’ve come across some song lyrics so bad it makes my ears secrete pus. Here I shall list some.

Lady Gaga – Just Dance
“Where are my keys? I lost my phone.”
This song encourages you to not give a damn should you be in such circumstances.

Black Eyed Peas – My Humps
“My humps, my humps, my humps, my humps, my humps.”
The language used in literary arts hundreds of years ago is more civilized than this.

Police – De Do Do Do De Da Da Da
“De do do do, de da da da. Is all I want to say to you.”
I’m not from the era so somebody tell me what this means.

Usher – Yeah
“Yeah.”
No.

T-Pain – Can’t Believe It
“Put you in the mansion, somewhere in Wiscansin.”
What, you can’t find another word that rhymes with ‘mansion’, that you have to make one up?

Nelly – Hot in Herre
“It’s gettin’ hot in here (so hot) So take off all your clothes”
There no subtlety in this world anymore.

Kanye West – Diamonds are Forever
“Now all I need is y’all to pronounce my name. Its Kanye – But some of my plastic – they still say Kane”
Way to place a plug in about yourself in your own song, dude.

Jonas Brothers – Paranoid
“That’s why my ex is still my ex”
How insecure does the listener have to be to warrant such an assurance?

Sometime back in 2008, I was chatting with the Wan via MSN when I was still in the States. I squeezed my brain juices to perform a dialogue in yesteryear’s fashion. The conversation has been saved for your reading pleasure.

Excerpt:

Justigulous:
hello
thou art at work?

the Wan:
aye, I am
what news doth the north wind bring?

Justigulous:
news of affliction and despair, I’m afraid

the Wan:
aye aye

You can read the whole thing here.

Today I will reveal my love for Futurama. *ahem*

I love Futurama.

I love it for its clever stories, witty lines, and science & pop culture references. My favorite episodes are The Luck of the Fryrish, Jurassic Bark, Parasites Lost, The Devil’s Hands Are Idle Playthings (the final episode of the TV run) and Bender’s Big Score, the first movie. I especially like Fry’s luckless attempts to win Leela’s heart, but *spoiler alert* came through in the final movie, Into the Wild Green Yonder.

My favorite scene is in Anthology of Interest I. It depicts a what-if scenario in which Leela is impulsive and ends up massacering the entire crew one by one. But when it came to Fry, she slept with him instead. After that, the conversation on the bed went like this:

Leela: So, how do you like the impulsive, new me?
Fry: I like it.
Leela: Oh yeah? Wait till you see this (Turns off light with menacing grin)
Fry: AAAARRRRGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Fry: I really like it. 

Due to complications with the producers and studios, the last movie currently stands as the series finale. That means no more Futurama ever! However, the Matt Groening, the creator, expressed his interest in continuing the series, though nothing is certain yet. But one thing is for sure: sales will affect the decision. So guys, if you like Futurama, buy their DVDs! And hopefully this great animated show will live on.

Read this for context.