The Hot Cousin Theorem
October 14th, 2007. Filed under: HumourTags: cousin, logic, theory
I, Justin Wong, have derived a logical conclusion in regards to hot cousins.
First, allow me to introduce the first premise.
Premise 1: Everybody has a hot cousin
Arguable it may be, but logic dictates otherwise. If one were to measure the relative hotness of all cousins, then there would logically be one who has the highest degree of hotness within the sample: the hot cousin. That person, being the hottest of that sample, does not have to be deemed hot in a larger sample spanning more families, cities, or countries. Hence, the first premise can be a universal truth using a form of relativism.
Now that the first premise is proven, the next premise applies to any specific person that fulfills it. As an example, I will use myself.
Premise 2: I have no hot cousins
With the proven universal truth that is Premise 1, and given that Premise 2 is true about myself (that none of my cousins are hot, if measured within a large sample), there can only be one conclusion.
I am the hot cousin
It was interesting when I first thought of this. However, there is a significant hole in the argument that renders the whole theorem redundant. Can you figure it out?
what if you have no cousins?
Amita
October 15th, 2007 at 11:09 amHaha.. expected no less from one as intelligent as yourself. It’s not the answer I’m looking for but it seems that you’re absolutely right!
Justin Wong
October 15th, 2007 at 11:48 amYour cousins deem you “not hot”, therefore making themselves the hot one, and not you. Paradoxical I know, but I think that’s right.
Harry Roberts
November 6th, 2007 at 9:48 pmyes justin the hole is if you are the hot cousin.. that just simply means u have no cousins.. cos u are not hot. nvr..
DINESH IMMANUEL KADARVELO
November 6th, 2007 at 11:38 pmFantastic! All very valid arguments, I won’t deem them incorrect. Admirable, really. What I’m thinking about is this:
Given that everybody has a hot cousin, which is premise 1, it is impossible that I have no cousins. The two premises contradict hence no conclusion.
Thanks for playing!
Justin Wong
November 7th, 2007 at 1:25 amHahahahahahah! That was funny lah… But like without it being like a riddle-kind of thing, like it makes sense for you to be the hot cousin hahaha. Good one.
Fira
November 19th, 2007 at 8:52 pmI have a painfully hot cousin. Seriously. It hurts.
Smag
December 29th, 2007 at 8:11 amHonestly, i think it’s kindof icky to look at your cousins in a sexual manner; but it’s a good theory. And most people are insanely narsasistic so they’d natrually proclaim themselve’s “the hot cosin” yeah, that’s all i’ve got to say. Byekiddos. [:<3
zeeek
October 17th, 2008 at 9:27 amLeave a Reply
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