The final round in which nearly manage to compete in took place at Zouk last Friday. Thanks to Roshan And Faruqi being caught in the biggest traffic the universe has ever seen, they picked me up late and arrived way too late. The bouncers won’t let anyone in, even with a ticket. But somehow some guy pointed at me and got me in. My reputation precedes me.

By the time I got in, all the performances are over. That was the last regret I ever had in the entire College Icon experience this year. Apparently they all blew the crowd away. I did manage to catch a few pictures as I may never see these talented people again.

Munawir, mua, and Wan LinSteven the winner, Hiroaki the EXTREMELY GOOD bassist and myself

All the finalists. Bottom: Munawir, Ai Rene, Steven and Folionxo

Congratulations to all you finalists and winners. It was well-deserved.Read TheStar’s article
Read my semifinals post

A step by step process of how to get some of that limelight on yourself. Its simple, really.

1. First, lose some weight till you’re 40-50kg. You gotta be slim slim slim!

2. Get a REAL Ah-beng haircut. For maximum ah-bengness, your hairstylist himself must be real ah-beng WITH a real ah-beng haircut.

3. Then dye it! Brown, blonde, streak, highlight, anything! Just make sure its not original color.

4. Sing a Josh Groban song in front of your mirror. Not sure if you can reach the high notes? Great! You’re all set!

5. Time to audition. But do not audition in KL. I recommend Penang or Ipoh, preferably Penang; And if you’re not from there, just pretend that you are. Use an English first name that Chinese-speaking people can easily pronounce. Eg. Vick, Andrew, Daniel, etc.

6. Present yourself well. Wear something an ah-beng would wear to the mall. Buy accessories from any pasar malam. By now, you should look something like this:

7. On the day of audition, keep calm and collected. No sudden movements, loud noises, or over-the-top facial expressions. Just keep cool. Do not do anything to draw too much attention to yourself. Blend in.

8. Choose a song that you like to sing. If asked why, just say ‘because very nice’ or something. Be sure not to sing too much, stop at the right time. And right after that say something innocent. ‘Sorry very nervous’ would be near perfection.

9. Before you know it, you’re in KL sitting around with the top 100. You must behave and speak like an ah-beng. For reference, observe Victor and Daniel on video or stalk them yourself, whichever you prefer.

10. Sing your favourite songs and put a very absorbed look while you’re at it. Pretend that you’re really into the song. Closing your eyes is a must, depending on the emotional level of the song.

Ah-beng songs are usually emo, so close your eyes more. In fact, when it gets climactic, pull all your muscles around your eyes.

11. Don’t look now, but you’re already in the top 30. By this time, your hair MUST be different. Trim it, re-color it, make it funkier, anything. Again, sing your favourite songs that ‘touches your heart’ or ‘move your spirit’ or whatever.

12. No matter what the judges say, just mutter a ‘thank you’. Unless, of course, they ask a question. Then you must think before you respond. Ah what the heck, just say ‘yeah’. When Paul Moss says something like ‘Ah, anyway, all the girls will love you’, it is a REALLY good sign.

13. Whoa, being top 10 seems to be a surprise for you. Remember to get all huggy and teary-eyed when the news breaks in.

14. Your performances from now on must be up to mark. That is why you must sing in a Chinese accent. Let the whole world think that you never learned English till you were fifteen.

15. Whenever Jien gives you a chance to say something, always thank your ‘fans’. Thank your voters like you’re in love with them.

16. Always smile! And whenever you bow, don’t to it professionally. See how Robbie Williams does it? Don’t imitate him, his showmanship is good.

17. IMPORTANT: Pretend you’re modest.

18. Sing your way up to the top 3. By then, you don’t have to worry about singing anymore. You just have to make the audience love you because of your flaws or hate you because other people love you. Either one will be fine. A mix will be good.

19. Watch with pleasure when Paul Moss gives a resigned look, wondering why the guy he keeps shooting down lasted this long.

20. Congratulations. You are now the next Malaysian Idol. If you ended up second or third, it means that there is still a bit of Western influence left in you. Oh well, you still get to sell albums with your name on it.

There you are. 20 easy steps. Here are some top-class graduates.

Daniel, the Malaysian Idol himself. Aww. don’t you just ‘love’ him?

Vick, who passed with flying colors. Just feel his ah-bengness oozing from him.

Victor, who has so much potential. Picture says it all.

Andrew, not a perfect example but did great anyway.

Oh, I forgot to mention that you have to be a Chinese lad for best results. Hmmm.. in that case, please vote for me if you see me on TV. Nyeks..:P

Spy it! (It’s like Digg, only it’s Malaysian)

On the 23rd of September 2005, our dear Pauline Ngiam has officially become a court lawyer. As part of the elaborate installation process, there was a thing called a ‘long call of the bar’ or something like that. It was an event where a few newbie lawyers present themselves and the judge will accept and officialize it all. Friends and family of those lawyers can attend to show support.

This is where a bunch of jobless roadies come in.

Roy, Winston, Sarah Teo, Edward Soong, Yee San and myself arrived at Masjid Jamek LRT Station at 8:47am.

A view from the outside the courts

We took our seats at the back of RKKK1, whatever it stood for. Pauline’s roadies took so much space the family members of the other newbie lawyers (sorry, I don’t know the proper terms) did not all get to sit. Marcus, Paik Yang and Joliana arrived a little late. We met Pat Woo outside the room, around to show support to Pauline. With quick tactful movements, I slyly manage to take a picture from inside the court.

Okay fine it was a lousy picture

One by one, the ten newbie lawyers rise from the bench and some veteran lawyer representative guy (again, poor with the terms) will read his/her resume-like speech for them. When the three seemingly important lawyers sitting in front each mention that they have no objections, the judge will announce the installation. I can’t remember what she said, but every one of them began with ‘Dengan kuasa yang diberikan kepada saya’. After that, another seemingly important lawyer-guy will rise and put a big-black-robe thing (I suck with my terms, I’ll never be a lawyer) on the specified newbie lawyer. With that, he/she will return to the bench.

After the long call ended, I slyly took another picture while pretending to speak with my accomplices.

Maybe I should’ve moved to get a better view

We then proceed to take a zillion group pictures outside. I have none for the time being, I only had my phone camera. Oh, and I found something strange.

A playground-thing by the court

And on to Soong Kee’s for a beef noode breakfast. Yum. Visited an old, cramped bookshop with really old books in it. I found the original Stepford Wives storybook. Cool.

Not only Kinokuniya has a first floor

We also passed by the place where Pauline hangs out a lot.

Yup, a real chill out place

Then Pauline sent us back to Bangsar. Imagine cramming six people, driver included, into a Perodua Kelisa. I had to sit on Roy and Edward’s leg.

>.here for Winston’s account

I haven’t blogged in a while, plus I have so much stuff to ‘cover’. I shall chuck them all in one grandioso of a post.

Start off with last friday, 16 September 2005: my birthday. *Thunder & Lightning* (only without the thunder).
I rushed all the way to college for group discussion which I thought I was late for, only to find that I wasn’t needed there. Thanks Laily. I made Yi Lin wait when I’m supposed to meet her.
Ah well, fastforward to MY FIRST PAINTBALLING SESSION EVER. It was like totally awesome, though I kinda sucked at getting my bullets to land on a specified target. So much for tactics, John Lian actually ramboed me knowing well that he would be shot at like rainfall. Phan moved like a sloth when shooting and hiding behind a barrier. Christopher had a seemingly foolproof strategy that is to move ahead before the enemy does, but due to lack of the ‘moving ahead’ part we kinda lost. Sin Wah fought bravely and lasted long. Tan Kok Earn had a pretty bad bruise from a point-blank shot by John the rambo. Junn Yeong displayed veteran skills by lying on his chest to shoot. Weng Leong even rolled himself to safety. Wai Lim’s determination has landed him some success. John Lian’s friend, a girl, shocked us with her underlying combat accuracy. Kishan yelled a warcry after the ref told him that I ran out of bullets, a fact that I did not realize until after I died in a final desperate assault. Its a good pastime, try it if you have fifty bucks lying around. Oh, and my next-door neighbor had an Indian funeral.

Moving on to Saturday 17th Sept 2005. Took part in a little competition in my church called ‘The Preacher’. The title is self-explanatory. I don’t how I won, but I know it didn’t mean I have the knack for giving a sermon. That night we crashed Pauline’s place for a invite-only barbecue. Thanks, Wins! Click here for Wan’s account. The roasted weiner-and-crabstick on a stick topped with thick mayo was simply delicious. Learned a game called Snap, which I lost to Yu Jin on my first try, and his, too. Was this close to being dragged and dumped into the pool with my jeans on. I was smart enough to grab hold of my phone with my unpry-able hands. My birthday was the day before, too late for two strong men to displace my pitiful self onto a body of water.

Nope, the waters are NOT calling me

Moving on to Sunday 18 Sept 2005. Realized that I was pretty wide awake in the morning although I only had five hours of sleep. This discovery is a milestone to the day when I can finally figure out how to unstone. Finished all my homework due Monday. ADP is no joke when it comes to coursework; no homework, no marks. End of story. Spent the rest of the day bumming and watching Bleach. Kurosaki Ichigo had one too many near-death expriences.

Monday came and went like a passing plane. It felt pretty good having to pass up my homework knowing that I actually finished them on time. Now I have to tackle a fifteen-page short story, a much-fussed-over psychology lab report and a literature research document all to be done by mid October. Now that I think about it, I shall scream. ARRGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. End of scream.

Tuesday, tuesday, tuesday. Ephraim and I impromptuly went to Dota at MMORPG, the home of Blueserver 3. He borrowed Roshan’s car to get there and he got pulled over by a cop for not wearing the safety belt. Tsk tsk tsk. Ef and the cop reached an agreement that he will drop the summons for an admin fee of RM20 (It’s a bribe if you don’t get it). Ef gave RM50 and guess what, the cop came back with RM30 change.

Wednesday, today, 21st Sept two double-O five. Learned about classical conditioning and operant conditioning. Both involve having to associate an external stimulus whether neutral, positive or negative to a feeling (emotion or anxiety) or the learning of a desired action from the subject. Psychology is complicated. For dinner, I met up with Roy, Yee San, Winston, Choi Wan and Pauline. We talked about things: blogger conspiracies, local movies and TV, gay bars and their strange names, courtroom judge assassination, the significant roles of Malays in this nation, and other things that escaped my memory for now. Roy will leave for UK this Saturday morning. But Friday we will have an adventure at a court session brought to you by Pauline Ngiam, lawyer lawyer.

I am content with just one cup, thank you very much

Till next time~