Here’s an essay I found lying around. It was done as SPM-level English homework and the topic in question was about the time I got bedridden. It’s all fiction, by the way.

Here by the bedside I lay, watching the hours pass me by. On the table rests the many books that I have already read. Arranged on the little shelf in my room lies my collection of DVDs that I have already watched. As I stare at the plain ceiling, my hand clutches a phone that I know will never ring. I am a victim of the unmerciful existence of boredom itself.

Idling at home is definitely not my idea of spending my mid-term holidays. If it weren’t for the curse that has befallen me that is the chicken pox, I would have made better use of my time. Alas, my sorry self is now confined within these four walls, deprived of contact with the outside world. Having known that I would have to put up with such a life for another week is driving me insane.

Isolation, however, is only half of my troubles. This wretched condition comes with a side effect so evil that only the devil himself can inflict: the endless itching. Resisting it is a feat achieved only by superhumans, but giving in will only bring more of it and will eventually scar my body. No man, however sinful, deserves such an experience.

Trying to sleep is also another difficult matter. Through the dark nights, I tossed and turn and used every technique known to mankind to make myself fall asleep. But the horrible itch had made all my efforts vain. Hour after hour, I slip in and out of consciousness, only to find myself as good as a dead man late the next morning.

To make matters worse, I have none to blame for this predicament except my very own self. It was only last week when I made a decision that became my undoing. Even though I was advised against it, I insisted on visiting a friend of mine who was suffering from the chicken pox. Due to close contact and my vaccination that refused to work, I am now put into misery by my own foolishness.

Deep inside me brews a volcano that will erupt should the circumstances persist. Laying here motionless on my bed, I could explode without warning. How I yearn to let it all out, to extinguish the flame without by channeling it out through my breath. But no, I could not. My dying but indestructible sense of self consciousness and pieces of my dignity forbids me to do so.

No amount of pleasure could dispel this cruel fate. No amount of console can make me feel that it could have been worse. Nothing can be done to erase my memory of this period of time that has been stolen from me. Soon, I will awaken a new man with a stronger will. For this is the day when I solemnly swear that I will forever be an enemy of the chicken pox.

I recently had the opportunity to apply for a job to write articles for The Sun Newspaper’s future campus-themed pullout. My application required a 400-word essay describing my most boring lecture as creatively as I can. Here goes nothing…

Regardless of meaning, silence and darkness are one. An endless abyss envelops this world immeasurable by space and time. Nothingness became the very essence of what seems to be existence. No room for emotion, cognition, or anything for that can take form, not even abstract. A void spark ignites, turning into something that can only be described as a split second. Out of nowhere, without warning, a form of perception arises. Is it I. I have found myself. Time starts to flow as I collect the pieces of what I assume amount to my consciousness. For every piece I embrace, the next one avails itself more willingly as the flow of time picks up the pace. The unfathomable shroud that once invaded my mind gradually clears, releasing my senses from its deathly grip. I realize now that I am a living being: a thinking and breathing organism.

It is the sense of touch, among the others, that establishes contact to my brain first. It occurs to me at this point that my entire body is relaxed. I feel my first breath of air through the shafts of my nostrils, without me having to will it deliberately. It is refreshing and empowering; I can feel my entire body already. Even the functioning level of my mind accelerates toward its normal rate. My thoughts begin to arrange themselves, in proper order and logic. Then, my memories return, bit by bit, depth by depth. I remember my name now, though it is not significant at this time. Now that I am aware of myself, I must proceed to be aware of my surroundings.

I can finally muster enough strength to lift my head that tilts backward. I take in another breath of air with my mouth, feeling my shoulders and chest rise as it happens. As I open my eyes, I instinctively set myself upright. This is when I notice that I am sitting on a chair. By the time I manage to sit up, my eyes begin to adjust to the bright light. Though it was passive all the while, it is only now that I could hear somebody talking. I recognize the voice, though I still could not identify it. I looked around to find myself in a lecture hall at my college. The person talking is the calculus professor, mumbling about things that I can never understand.

How boring.

Hello everybody and welcome to ‘The Country DotCom Awards 2005′, the show where the best of the best *nameofcountry*.com domains are hereby awarded their category wins. Now, the internet is full of websites to promote tourism and such but as for this show, I only allow the name of the country in the domain name, nothing more. For example, I do not accept www.lifeinjapan.com or www.travelitaly.com, whereas www.japan.com & www.italy.comqualifies. Also, I do not accept .net, .org, .co.uk and the lot; only .com. However, if the domain name leads to another website but maintain its relevance, I consider it qualified. Without further adue, let’s move on to our first category.

www.canada.com
Canada.com is the one page that has constantly updated information as it serves as a hub for its local newspapers and television channels, unlike any other country dotcoms. On another note, I found an efficient news website that offers plenty of timely news articles on that particular country; that is when I typed in countries like malawi.com, togo.com or kazakhstan.com. But all of them are actually pages from a media conglomerate, World News Network’s website. Hence, it does not qualify. Canada.com takes the win.

www.china.com
Here, I am judging the English version; you have to click on the ‘English’ button. China.com contains info from news to history, even real estate and dating. Following closely behind is japan.com as the runner-up.

www.morocco.com
Believe or not, Morocco.com grabs this one, after much consideration, of course. Runner-ups are Bosnia.com and Newzealand.com

www.seychelles.com
This one comes a surprise to me as I almost overlooked this country. The entire website is flash-based but maintains its user-friendliness and simplicity. It even comes with serene beach sounds.

www.england.com
This one judges country dotcoms that has tourism info only. As England.com and Britain.com both led me to Londontown.com, I made it the winner for its sheer usefulness despite its limitation to just London. Runner ups include Australia.com and France.com

www.arabia.com
Let’s ignore the non-English version here. Arabia.com attempts to reach a younger audience, as it contains sections for Cars, Mobile, and even Entertainment. No other country dotcoms offer such information in that area.

www.malta.com
Actually, Malta.com is the only country dotcom I can find with an intro page. However, it gives a flash video clip of a beautiful beach, enough make it unchallengable.

www.malta.com
Malta.com’s logo is so good, it is the only reason I made this category. It even has a cool tagline: ‘Past Present Future Perfect’. How cool is that? See it for yourself.

At the bottom of the page, I found two links: one ‘Pregnancy’ and the other ‘Pregnant’. I don’t get it either.

India.com
My user-friendliness rating: -6. It does not give you any information whatsoever unless you are a registered user. The front page is bare, for goodness sakes.

Germany.com
Looks like some guy managed to grab the domain name before the government or some company does. The result is depressing.

Malawi.com

I never knew that stating the obvious can be so formal.

Well, that’s all for today. This is the best proof I can muster to date to show you that I have nothing better to do.